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Player Interview - The Jailbird

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    Clark Kent

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    Roving Reporter

    Smithfield Echo Exclusive

    Its time for another of our exclusive player interviews. This week, midfield dynamo Matt Maskery. Unfortunately due to the rare dialect of Blurtonian spoken by Matt, I have had to run his response through the “Kentulator 5000” to translate into English. For journalistic accuracy I have left in Matt’s own reply for you to see and try and translate yourself….


    Q1 – What is your real name?

    Matthew Maskery

    Kentulator – My real name is Matthew Maskery. Prisoner Number 76424331 Sir!


    Q2 – Why did you choose the name “MaskDogg”?

    Cause my names mask and i love dogging

    Kentulator – My surname is Maskery and I like walking my friends Dog. Combine the two and you get Maskdogg. The extra g makes it young and hip.


    Q3 – How old are you?

    24

    Kentulator – I am 24 years old


    Q4 – Where do you live?

    In the best place on the planet Blurton otherwise known as (Hell)

    Kentulator – I currently reside in the village of Blurton in Stoke on Trent with my lovely Mum


    S5 – What is your favourite meal and drink?

    I love pasta spaghetti bolognaise lasagne id have to say a pint of jd and coke

    Kentulator – I have found a recent liking for simple Italian food like Lasagne and Spaghetti Bolognese with a bottle of good Rose Wine. If the wine is not available I’ll have a Jack Daniels Sourmash Whiskey No.7 with Coca-Cola

    Q6 – What are your favourite band / singer?

    radio head coldplay foo fighters and many more

    Kentulator – I’m into most bands that sing for themselves like Radiohead, Coldplay and the Foo Fighters. I’d put Christopher Martin and David Grohl on my top 10 icons list any day of the week


    Q7 – What is your favourite film?

    the water boy mr deeds joe dirt

    Kentulator – I really like Adam Sandler and love him in The Waterboy and Mr Deeds. He’s a comical genius. I also have the extended special edition DVD of Joe Dirt starring the funny looking David Spade


    Q8 – Which football team do you support?

    Tranmere Rovers

    Kentulator – Unfortunately I support the worst team on the Wirral, Tranmere Rovers


    Q9 – If you could play 1 other sport for England other than football what would it be?

    i would play womens volley ball so i could perv on the titties

    Kentulator – I’m in touch with my feminine side and would love to play Women’s Volleyball because of the high level of athleticism required


    Q10 – Smithfield have managed to secure the services of 1 England International for a crucial match. Who would you pick and why?

    joe cole cause hes awesome and would b great on the left 4 smithfield as we lack creativity there

    Kentulator – I’ve liked the look of this Joe Cole fellow for a while now and think he would add balance and creativity on our left side


    Q11 – What is your proudest moment playing for Smithfield / Wheatsheaf?

    i have that many winning the league winning the golden boot playing with my boys every game im proud

    Kentulator – Winning the Golden Boot from the legend that is Joey Seymour is high on the list but like any player, I hold winning the league dear to my heart.


    Q12 – What moment sticks out for you from this season?

    my dick when i score get a rate hard on...is that wot u meant but apart from that beating lambourne as i scored both goals

    Kentulator – I get an incredible rush when I score and to get two goals in the key game against Lambourne which contains a lot of my Blurton friends means a lot to me.


    Q13 – What has been the most disappointing moment of the season?

    losing games we have dominated and not scoring as many i should have and missing a couple crunch matches sorry boys

    Kentulator – It’s my first season in midfield so there have been occasions when it seemed easier to score and I haven’t. I have also missed a few key games so I’d like to take this time to apologize to my team mates for this. I also hate losing games that we have been in top on.


    Q14 – Are you happy with the direction the club are going in at the moment?

    ive been at the club 4yrs and its just started taking off i think everything thats happing is great

    Kentulator – I think we are on the road to success following a few years in the wilderness. Heck, I’m even paying off a little of my subs!


    Q15 – And finally, “Cup Winners” or “League Champions”?

    i think we willcome runners up in the league and win the cup then massive party after n ill prob get that drunk ill die

    Kentulator – Judging by this season’s progress I think we will win the cup and finish runners up in our league. Come on Smithfield!



    Well a fascinating insight into the language on ancient Blurton and the mind of Matt Maskery. Keep your eyes peeled for the next exciting installment of 15 Questions.

    Clark Kent – Reporter in Chief
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    Stanners

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    Retired

    my dick when i score get a rate hard on


    It's no wonder Mask has scored 3 goals in 2 games when his missus has been watching!
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    maskdogg

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    Striker

    hahahahaha wot a report wooooop hahaahahaha im actually pising myelf lol
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    bendogg121uk

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    *DONKEY*

    you mental randolf
    Posted 2 years ago #

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