Question Time featuring Mark Stanway! « The Smithfield FC Forum

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Question Time featuring Mark Stanway!

(30 posts)

Fordy

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Winger / Striker

Stanners regularly drinks 5 gallons during the game.

Comment of the week!

Matty Craig - said

Seems you dont beleive the session I had - its all fact!

Man I enjoy a good old Smithfield debate!
Let do how slow Tudor is now!

Posted 1 year ago #
Cyrix

Offline
Goalkeeper

Hold on... 'running around' for 105 minutes? It was snails pace for 100 of them minutes X-D Let me see, who did we have? Tudor (insert slow jibes here), Ian, Tom, Static Stanners, injured Damo, Chopper 'Mr Slow' Harris...

Fordy, it would be nice to see you tracking back for even one game. The simple fact is you never do, at any game I've ever seen you play in. You never did it when we played at Keele and you don't do it now. You almost did it one week but we let a few successive goals in and that was that.

Rob manages it and he scores plenty in training. As does Matty Craig. As midfielders they both realise the need for defending as well as attacking

~Cyrix
There are 10 types of people in the world: people who can read binary and those who can't.

Posted 1 year ago #
Fordy

Offline
Winger / Striker

Ok here we go.... this is the second time that I have replied to this as the toss school internet connection failed when I sent it.... bloody eductional facilities!!!

Fordy, it would be nice to see you tracking back for even one game. The simple fact is you never do, at any game I've ever seen you play in.
Another absolute ridiculus bull shit comment. Lets look at our last 3 fixtures:
Corner Pin: First half did much more defending than attacking, put in a few crucial challenges as well. If we recall most of the play came down that wing. Just look at gallery to remind yourself as there are a few photos of me tracking back. The second half went all out attack!
Duke of York: For the majority of the first half was tracking back and supporting Tony C. If you recall myself and Tony built up a very good relationship. In the first half the only chance that came from our side of the field was when you threw the ball at Tony's back. In the second half they changed formation to 3-5-2 and there right wing back didn't touch the ball for practically the entire half.
Sneyd Arms: All I did first 20 minutes was defend and support Cobby, Cobby got pulled into marking their center forward and therefore I took the winger. I then was given the instruction by the gaffer to push further up the field and pin back their right back, which I did. Second half again I had to come back and support Cobby as didn't see much of the ball at the other end, won a number of headers if I recall.
So, for the player who contantly comes out the comment "I have the best view of the game so know what is going on", you either need to get your eyes tested or stop smoking weed as its effecting your memory horrifically.

You never did it when we played at Keele
I played up front for the Vets and therefore played as a front man. Again I will repeat what I said in an earlier post and hopefully it will sink in: Most actual 5-a-side teams always leave a man up front (ive played for many 5/6 - side teams so know), ensures the others don't attack with 4 players. Had this response from Roy (the oracle of football knowledge) about this on another post:
Totally agree with you mate

Rob manages it and he scores plenty in training.
Rob plays as the last man at training every week, he spends the vast majority of his game defending. He scores the odd goal but certainly not plenty. I think he should perhaps push on and work more on attacking as this would benefit him more on Sunday games.

Hold on... 'running around' for 105 minutes? It was snails pace for 100 of them minutes Let me see, who did we have? Tudor (insert slow jibes here), Ian, Tom, Static Stanners, injured Damo, Chopper 'Mr Slow' Harris...
Its irrelevant on how fast the person runs, if you are running on and off for 105 minutes in that heat. Its bound to take it out of you. I thought everyone did enough work to warrant a training session. Try the rest of the squad who did 0 running on Sunday, they are the people who let the side down.

I think that you need to actually think about what comments your making because the last couple of post have been absolute drivel. They must have been the first thing that comes into your head without any thought!

The Ford - "Over and out"

= Bum hole, (!) = Bum hole and therefore (!) = ! Physics at the top level!!!!![/quote]

Posted 1 year ago #
Cyrix

Offline
Goalkeeper

I was talking about training mate, as the rest of this thread's been about; that's why I brought up Keele. No need to start making personal jibes my memory is fine. But then you've already been doing that with the 'whiney' comments haven't you?

On such a small pitch defending should be part of your gameas much as attacking. How many goals does my team concede on a Thursday due to being caught on the break? You may invite the other team on if you defend but you leave little space for clear cut opportunities and you open the other team up for a quick counter.

Fair enough Rob has not been attacking much lately and I'm not sure why that is but overall he defends and he attacks, as does Matty Craig; Matty Craig even more so, is this not true?

Just because you're playing 'up front' does not mean you don't have to defend either. If you lost the ball and you were the last man because the rest of your teammates had pushed up, would you cover back? On Sunday's evidence no. For me too frequently you lose the ball and just stand there and let the opponent advance unchallenged towards goal. I'm not askingyou to be the last man, we have Ian, Chopper, Tudor for that. Just try spending a little more time in your own half rather than the opponents. Is that too much to ask?

Oh, and write your post in Notepad or something then paste it into the post in case something goes wrong

~Cyrix

Posted 1 year ago #
the gaffer

Offline
Manager

Oh, and write your post in Notepad or something then paste it into the post in case something goes wrong

Most constructive statement of this discussion, well done Ian

If you recall myself and Tony built up a very good relationship. In the first half the only chance that came from our side of the field was when you threw the ball at Tony's back. In the second half they changed formation to 3-5-2 and there right wing back didn't touch the ball for practically the entire half

Wow is that a penny I hear dropping.

That's the secret of a good football team, partnerships, and supporting each other.

The fact that we formed a good partnership was that we were continually talking to each other for the whole 90 minutes. So you knew exactly what you had to do to support me and, to give you the credit you deserve, you told me exactly what I needed to do to support you.

Now if we could all do that on a Sunday morning we would be awesome
P.s I Find creating my posts in word and then using the cut and paste facility is an excellent way of avoiding the problems you describe Fordy.

Posted 1 year ago #
Fordy

Offline
Winger / Striker

So jealous that the gaffer knows how to write AWSOME in mahoosive letters. Wish I could do that.

I Find creating my posts in word and then using the cut and paste facility is an excellent way of avoiding the problems you describe Fordy.

Oh, and write your post in Notepad or something then paste it into the post in case something goes wrong

Thanks fella's, really apreciate these complex solutions to my ICT problems.

need to start making personal jibes
Isnt that the whole point in the website, I sit here creasing myself thinking of some abusive way of making my point, how boring would it be if we all took the none-offensive Matty Craig approach to criticism!

Question Time for the Ford, questions from Ians last post:

1. How many goals does my team concede on a Thursday due to being caught on the break?
2. he defends and he attacks, as does Matty Craig; Matty Craig even more so, is this not true?
3. If you lost the ball and you were the last man because the rest of your teammates had pushed up, would you cover back?
4. Just try spending a little more time in your own half rather than the opponents. Is that too much to ask?

Ok Mr Ford your time starts now.
Ok Geoffry!
1. 2
2. No
3. Yes
4. Yes

Well Ford you've done it, you scored maximum points, now I'm going to take you into the changing rooms and give you a good -> + =
Thanks Geoff, been a pleasure!

Posted 1 year ago #
psycho

Offline
Right Wing

2. he defends and he attacks, as does Matty Craig; Matty Craig even more so, is this not true?

2. No

Are you having a laugh! I am up and down that pitch more than anyone! Every attack I am upfront and every time we have to defend I am back!

I am a machine!

Maybe you don't realise because you are standing still so much, everyone else must seem like a blur!

Its irrelevant on how fast the person runs, if you are running on and off for 105 minutes in that heat. Its bound to take it out of you.

Heat! What heat! It was 15 degrees at the most, thats not even warm! Thats a pathetic excuse if ever I heard one. Looks like if we ever go into extra time gaffer you will have to bring the Ford off, as he cannot cope with 105 minutes of football.

Ok, after using the Fords very complex scoring system. You scored an unimpressive 1.6 out of 20 that coincidently was the amount of ground covered by you and myself added up in football pitch lengths (I ran 1.58 football pitches).

Ok, so you ran 1.58 football pitch lengths. An average pitch length is 110 metres. So that means you ran approximately 173.8 metres.
In comparison a typical footballer covers between 9-10km or 9,000-10,000 metres.

Fordy = 173.8m v Typical footballer = 10,000m

So, yeah that seems fairly accurate to me.

Psycho }:-@

Posted 1 year ago #
the gaffer

Offline
Manager

Looks like if we ever go into extra time gaffer you will have to bring the Ford off, as he cannot cope with 105 minutes of football.

I brought him off after 70 minutes against Sneyd and look what happened.

I'll quote from my extensive player dossier.

FORD. A

Idea condition to get the best out of this player are slightly chilly, though not freezing.
Scoring ability .....good
Stamina........... likes to keep his total running to under 200 metres per game (20 in training)
Team work rating 3/10

Probably the most convincing Donkey of the season winner ever.

Reasons he should not be in the team...................he does IT

Concentration spell...............60 minutes in any given 24 hour spell.

Professional player he most resembles.............Diego Maradonna...........................as he is now.

Posted 1 year ago #
Cyrix

Offline
Goalkeeper

Fordy Quote:
I dont need long distance running as can run forever... I ran 1.58 football pitches.

Brilliant I only just noticed that - in the same post too no less lmao!

Fordy Quote:
its effecting your memory horrifically

Well Mr Ford, there could be reasons other than the one you postulate. Take a look at this news story titled 'Brain decline' begins at age 27. I've been in steady decline since last October :'(

~Cyrix

Posted 1 year ago #
Fordy

Offline
Winger / Striker

I am a machine!

I agree matty, your like one of those mechanic dogs that do backflips! Absolutely pointless! You would be the
I am a machine!

I agree matty, your like one of those mechanic dogs that do backflips! Absolutely pointless! You would be the toy fox terrier version (a midget dog breed)

Fordy = 173.8m v Typical footballer = 10,000m

Correct - Professional footballer needs about 10,000 m to catch the Ford!

Professional player he most resembles.............Diego Maradonna...........................as he is now.

I'll still take that, reckon he would still do a job in the old City & Traders!

story titled 'Brain decline' begins at age 27
I more worried about my prostdate than brain decline!

Lets look at it realisticly this is "The Fords" stats from the actual dossier!

Ideal Condition - Any, he awsome in all conditions!
Scoring ability .....pass him the ball, he'll do the rest!
Stamina.........Each game covers the same ground as Matty Craig and Damo added up + 1.58 pitches.
Reasons he should not be in the team...........pretty small cock compared to others in the team, doesn't get involved in brawls to protect his good looks, if both of his legs and arms were ripped off (although he could probably still just about make it ahead of Stanners, so depends on numbers).
Concentration spell.............his minds still on the Sneyd game so fucking unreal concentration!
spell.
Professional player he most resembles.............the question should be which professional player resembles him, the answer - he couldn't have been born yet as theres no-one as good!

I think we can safely dust our hands off say - JOB DONE! SUBJECT RESOLVED!!!

Posted 1 year ago #