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joke of the week

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    tom plant

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    in the inverness job centre a man sees a vacancy for a gynecologists assistant he asks for details and is thrilled to learn that his duties are to prepare ladies as follows
    1. remove their underwear
    2. wash and shave their nether regions.
    3. rub oil on the shaved areas
    salary is £ 55.000 he is then told he must go to plymouth.
    "oh why plymouth is that where the job is the answer comes back
    no thats where the end of the fucking queue is.
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    Stanners

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    Are you tired of buying expensive screen wipes to clean your monitor?

    Can't be bothered to do it yourself?

    If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you need Stanners Patented Screenclean. For an exciting demonstration of our top quality product just click on the link below

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    Posted 2 years ago #
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    Stanners

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    I've just heard that thousands of jobs are to be created in the Welsh Mining industry.

    Apparently they found some copper in snowdonia.
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    Stanners

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    An Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman driving through the desert, when suddenly, their truck breaks down. With no way of fixing it, they decide the only option is to go in different directions, to try and find help.

    The Englishman said; "we should all take one item each, to aid us with out trek across the desert. Don't take anything too heavy, but something that will be useful..."

    So he says, "I'll take the water tank - so when I get thirsty, I can have a drink."

    The Scotsman says; "Right, erm, I'll take one of the seats, so that when I get tired, I can sit down on something comfy.."

    The Irishman stands there, scratching his head, when he suddenly says; "I'm taking one of the doors!" The other two stand there, looking at each other, wondering why on earth he would want a door... So the Irishman explained; "Well, if it gets hot, I can wind the window down...."
    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. psycho

    psycho

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    An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are driving through the desert when their jeep breaks down. So they decide to go together to get help and set off across the desert on foot with no food and just one bottle of water.

    After a few hours the Scotsman begins to get thirsty and asks the Englishman for a drink of water. However the Englishman refuses his request because he didn't want him to drink all of the water and said that it should be rationed equally between them. So they decide that the Englishman would have a third, the Soctsman would have a third and the Irishman would have a third. After several hours it begins to get dark so they set up camp for the night and went to sleep.

    At dawn they all awoke to find the bottle of water was completely empty. The Englishman said, "don't look at me I didn't drink it".
    The Scotsman also swore that he had not touched a drop.
    The Irishman, who was looking refreshed, said "well I got thirsty in the night and because I had the last third I had to drink through your thirds to get to mine".

    [image]

    Posted 2 years ago #
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    Stanners

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    Following the debacle with the water, the Englishman says he's going to carry on and walk to the nearest town and to hell with dying. The Scotsman and Irishman think for a little while and both agree to join the Englishman.

    After an hour walking in 100 degree temperatures they spot a small desert oasis in the distance and spurred on by this, they all run as fast as they can to get there. Once there they notice a small pub nestled amongst the trees so the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman nervously enter the bar and look at the bewildered barman. The barman looks at the three dusty and thirsty travellers and says "Is this some kind of joke?"
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    tom plant

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    MFI have announced that sales of the new 'shannon' drawer divan have increased prior to the easter school holidays. After it was pointed out that it kept kids quiet for up to 4 weeks.
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    tom plant

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    2 irishmen find a mirror on the road First one picks it up & says I know this face but i c"ant put a name to it .second one picks it up & says" its me you daft bastard.
    Posted 2 years ago #
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    tom plant

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    Man lying in bed with his new thai wife. she keeps stroking his cock .He says do you like my cock that much ? She says no I just miss mine.
    Posted 2 years ago #

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